Memory Lane

I originally wrote this around 9 years ago, reposted it two years ago, and figured it was time for a reminder:

Lost, Stolen, And Strayed

Lost: Portable phone
Found: In freezer

Stolen: one package of Starbursts
Found: empty wrapper next to small pair of dirty footprints in bath tub behind shower curtain.

Strayed: Entire contents of my pantry shelves (boxed and canned goods to feed a family of nine for over a week)
Found: Entire contents of pantry utilized to form abstract sculpture on kitchen floor.

Broken: One towel rack
Why? It could not withstand the weight of a thirty pound gymnast, a defect shared also by my quilt rack and the wooden clothes rack.

Furthermore, approximately 412 books have migrated from their assigned shelves to my bed, and for once I didn't do it.
Moreover, the lovely sound of rain I thought I heard this afternoon was instead the distinctly unlovely sound of the toilet rejecting an entire box of tissues.
In addition, I found my sweatshirt wrapped around a half eaten apple long past its prime in the back of the wardrobe, our 13 y.o.'s schedule has some illegible additions made with green rayon, and a missing dishtowel and hotpad were found in the oven (fortunately before we turned it on for lunch).

The Toddler left her fingerprints everywhere today. I mean that literally. You see, she found an inkpad left out from rubber stamping. Those fingerprints were on herself, her clothes, and my leather chair. The Toddler also had indelible marker all over her, her hands, her clothes, the window, the table, and the counter.

Today the 13 y.o. told the little culprit not to hit her, and the culprit glowered fiercely and said,

"I *need* to."


As near as I can tell, *nothing* that is an acceptable toy to me is an acceptable toy to The Toddler. It sounds like she's spending lots of time alone, but she's not. She's simply fast.

Once upon a time my dh wouldn't believe me when we told him how quick she was. Then we left him alone with her. She was standing at the livingroom window, face pressed against the glass, wailing and sobbing as we drove away, so he though it would be safe to make a quick dash to the bathroom to do the necessary. He returned seconds later (he says he didn't even sit down) to find the 2 y.o. child standing on the kitchen counter pulling out a bottle of tylenol from the highest shelf in the uppermost cupboard. We didn't even realize she knew it was there. We bought a fishing tackle box with a lock and key for the medicines.

But we can't lock up everything in the house. At this point, the best solution I have is to lock up The Toddler.

I've tried letting her help. She only wants to do the dangerous jobs. If it is safe, it has no interest for her. If it carries a risk of burning, cutting, dismembering or death, that's the job she wants. If it's safe for a toddler, that's a job utterly beneath her.

I've tried 'filling her bucket first' i.e. making sure I do special things with her first. We start our mornings with her snuggling with me in bed while I read her a book. Then I do a puzzle with her after breakfast, and other togetherness activities follow- but it doesn't matter. As soon as I have to go do something else, she's either demanding the personal attention of whoever is the busiest, most pre-occupied person in the house, or she's wreaking havoc.

It's a good thing she's so perfectly adorable.