Thursday, March 27, 2008

Bullying in the news...

REading the story young man who has been bullied at school (and out) for the last four years made my stomach hurt:

Whatever the reason, addressing the bullying of Billy has become a second job for his parents: Curt, a senior data analyst, and Penney, the owner of an office-supply company. They have binders of school records and police reports, along with photos documenting the bruises and black eyes. They are well known to school officials, perhaps even too well known, but they make no apologies for being vigilant. They also reject any suggestion that they should move out of the district because of this.

The many incidents seem to blur together into one protracted assault. When Billy attaches a bully’s name to one beating, his mother corrects him. “That was Benny, sweetie,” she says. “That was in the eighth grade.”

It began years ago when a boy called the house and asked Billy if he wanted to buy a certain sex toy, heh-heh. Billy told his mother, who informed the boy’s mother. The next day the boy showed Billy a list with the names of 20 boys who wanted to beat Billy up.

Ms. Wolfe says she and her husband knew it was coming. She says they tried to warn school officials — and then bam: the prank caller beat up Billy in the bathroom of McNair Middle School.

Not long after, a boy on the school bus pummeled Billy, but somehow Billy was the one suspended, despite his pleas that the bus’s security camera would prove his innocence. Days later, Ms. Wolfe recalls, the principal summoned her, presented a box of tissues, and played the bus video that clearly showed Billy was telling the truth.

Things got worse. At Woodland Junior High School, some boys in a wood shop class goaded a bigger boy into believing that Billy had been talking trash about his mother. Billy, busy building a miniature house, didn’t see it coming: the boy hit him so hard in the left cheek that he briefly lost consciousness.

Ms. Wolfe remembers the family dentist sewing up the inside of Billy’s cheek, and a school official refusing to call the police, saying it looked like Billy got what he deserved. Most of all, she remembers the sight of her son.

“He kept spitting blood out,” she says, the memory strong enough still to break her voice.

By now Billy feared school. Sometimes he was doubled over with stress, asking his parents why. But it kept on coming.


His parents are suing one of the bullies.

8 comments:

Heather said...

I understand they want it to not be tolerated, they want their son protected. But HOW do you send your child into that situation DAY after DAY -- YEAR after YEAR??? Sue the school, sue the kids and thier parents - but get your kid the he!! out of there. How allowing this to continue could possibly be in his best intrest?

Headmistress, zookeeper said...

Yes, Heather, several questions come to mind. I am trying to be charitable here and realize that sometimes when you are in the midst of something monumentally gut-wrenching, the solutions that seem obvious to those on the outside just don't seem obvious to you. And I can imagine that every time they think that they have accomplished something, and that this is the last time. But FOUR YEARS?

In the recent homeschooling case in CA, one of the allegations that seems to have prompted intervention is that a person outside the family was abusing one of the older daughters, and that by failing to protect her, the father was guilty- and given the circumstances as I understand them, this is true. He is.
And this is different from this situation how? The parents know their son is in constant danger. He has been assaulted more than once- they have video of at least two such instances, and they keep sending him back?

And finally, I have to wonder- if either of the parents found themselves subject to intra-work message boards all about "everybody who hates Mr/Ms Wolf," if they had been hit, not once, but multiple times on multiple occasions at work, would they keep going back for four years? How many times would one of your co-workers get to punch you before you looked for another job?
There are remedies set up, however imperfect, to address such abuse within the home, on the job, or in just about any public space except school- the one place where we compel the young to attend.

Tim's Mom said...

I'm convinced there's more to this story than we're hearing. There's a piece of the puzzle missing, without which this story makes no sense. The school's response and his parent's response just isn't normal. There's something else going on.

Headmistress, zookeeper said...

I'm not sure it matters what else is going on, even if it turns out that he's a bigger bully than any of them. It's clearly a toxic environment for him for whatever reason, it's just not a good place for him to be.

Headmistress, zookeeper said...

There's an interesting thread here, with comments reportedly from kids who go to school with Billy, but they don't use their real names. They claim it is all his fault because he started it every time- with words. So punching him and beating him up is okay. Also interesting is their appalling lack of anything approximating decent grammar or spelling skills, and their offense when that has been pointed out. I think my favorite is the one who insists that he goes to an 'educated school.'

Justin said...

There sure is some high quality socialization going on there, alright.

Harper said...

Personally, I don't care whether Billy started it or not. It is unacceptable for school officials to allow a school to become a place of violence, especially when they have so much documentations.

Since Billy has a learning disorder (according to the article at the top of the link), the parents should be able to argue for a transfer (even to a private school) based on ADA. I know several parents who have done just that.

Schools are required to keep their students safe. Why is this school doing so little?

Anonymous said...

If the kid is 16, I'm surprised that HE went to school after all this. If it were me, I simply wouldn't show up.

On the other hand, if he is truly bullying other students and instigating all this fighting, it seems to me all the MORE reason for the school to intervene, to separate him from the others for good of both sides. Does the district not have an "alternative school?"