Striderling's Agenda

1. He must gain weight again (he lost weight yesterday and is back on fortifiers being added to mom's milk)
2. He must pass a car seat test, generally required for all babies going home on oxygen and, in some cases, for all preemies, which the Striderling isn't.

So far, we're still looking at Monday as release date.

P.S. He passed the car seat test!

Chores for Children, part two

The Dread Pirate Grasshopper is just fifteen months old, and he has already started helping out with chores around his house.  Some time ago his Daddy had him help to feed the dog- he would help scoop out a measuring cup full of dog food, and then pour it into the bowl.

On his own, The Dread Pirate Grasshopper decided that when the dog has finished his food, his bowl should be tucked away in the cupboard.  He also likes to try using the broom and the dustbroom.  He helps to pick up and put away his toys, and this week while visiting his other grandmother, he has been allowed to stand on a chair at the sink and 'help' wash dishes.

The DPG lives in a small house, and he feeds the dog under the watchful eye of his parents.  His 'chores' at this stage largely consist of working with his parents or under their direct and close supervision.
Other things he might do:
Help wipe the table clean if given a clean wet washcloth or sponge, well rung out, and while working alongside a parent (or older sibling if he had one)
Help brush the dog
Help water a plant if given a small, unbreakable creamer with just enough water in it for one plant.
Help put wet clothes from the washer to the dryer (put the wet clothes on the open door of the dryer and let the little one push them in.

When the HG was around two, she would help me mop my kitchen floor.  She had her old small rag or scrub brush and I had my bigger one, and we would scrub while singing together "We are scrubbing Mommy's floors" to the tune of Jacob's Ladder.  It was a very sweet time together.

Around the time a child is two, he or she can:
fold washclothes, pillowcases, and dishtowels
put away silverware and plastic cups. Putting away the utensils is a self correcting task, and if they can sort a box of nuts and bolts or do a single piece puzzle, they can do the utensils.
Carry things like napkins, cups, and dishes to and from the table.
Set one cup at each place around the table.


Have the toddlers work along side you, doing whatever they can do when they are small, and after a while they can do those small chores independently.


Then you can add other chores as they grow older:
They can wipe out sinks (I think I was about five or six when scouring the sink first became my job and I loved it).

They can dust- not a whole room at first, but certainly you can assign a specific piece of two of furniture, an end table or rocking chair, and teach them to do the job thoroughly.

They can make beds and switch out laundry when it's done- carrying a basket of clean clothes into the living room to be folded, carrying baskets of folded clothes to the rooms where they belong. They can hang clothes on hangers and fold quite a few things. 


They can help diaper the baby.


They can learn to make toast


They can dry dishes- cups are a great first choice- the child puts the dish towel over his hand, puts the cup over the towel, then pulls the ends of the towel up over the cup and rubs it dry. Yes, this takes longer.  But it's the worth the time you give to this now, and it will repay you in spades later.


They can put silverware in the dishwasher.


They can clean cupboard doors, door knobs, light switches, stair rails, and spot clean floors.


They can vacuum


They can learn to weed


They can knead bread


they can learn to cook and to clean up after themselves
They can learn to scrub vegetables, peel carrots (especially with the right tools), slice cheese with a cheese slicer, use an apple slicer to make apple wedges, entertain the baby, and more.


They can take a spade and a bucket and clean up after a dog in the yard.


What one child can't very well do alone, two can do together- our youngest two started making their parents' bed when they were about six and eight- the reason was because they were usually in it by the time I got up in the morning, so they were the last ones out.  They continued to make our bed in the morning because it hurts my back and the HM's steel-plated arm.


If you live on a farm they can gather eggs, feed animals, water them, open the coop door to let poultry out, and later groom animals, shovel out stables and coops

The main thing is supervision, oversight, and apprenticeship.
 First they do the chore with you and you explain what you are doing and why. Then you watch over them the first few times they try a chore alone, checking to make sure they follow the steps you expect to be followed. If they are younger than four or so, you generally only have them do the chores while you are in the room with them (this is because of impulse control and attention spans).
 Then check on their work periodically. If you are watching you can see when you've assigned a task too hard or too easy for some reason. A shorter child will take longer to be able to manage the vacuum cleaner than a tall child, or you may realize your child is color blind when you ask him to sort laundry, or you may find that your child with ADD tendencies needs a short, specific list of things to do rather than a general command to 'clean the kitchen.'


You might also look into making your own cleaners so that the children aren't using toxic and harsh chemicals.  They can scrub the sink with baking soda, for instance.


Here are some of Blynken's and Nod's chores (six and three):
Put away their toys
spray and clean light switches, door knobs, and the telephone
Put dishes in the dishwasher that I have rinsed and hand to them
wipe the tables or counters clean
fold washcloths, their own underwear and socks, fold napkins 
wipe the sink
Carry their dirty clothes down
Put away their clean clothes
sweep
dry dishes


Here are a few of the chores our 12 year old does:
Mow the lawn
grind coffee beans and make Mom a cup of coffee with the French Press
Make fried eggs, scrambled eggs, saute mushrooms and garlic, cheese tortillas, and soup
Empty trash
burn the trash in the burn barrel
clean the kitchen
sweep
clean bathroom mirrors
clean out the fridge
weed
shovel snow
clean out the van
vacuum the stairs (this has been his chore since he was seven.  We have a small vacuum with a long hose, and he loved to vacuum out the crevices of the stairs)


You tell us what some of your children's earlier chores have been, and some time next week, I'll have a post about how to encourage cheerful attitudes and diligent work (these are suggestions, not fail safe methods)

Four Moms On Children And Chores

We Four Moms are discussing children and chores this week. You won't want to miss what the other Four Moms have to say:

Connie, at Smockity Frocks reminds us that hard work is a privilege, and you should never expect what you don't inspect (I have loved that phrase since first learning it from friend Coffee mama)

Kimberly, at Raising Olives explains the value of diligence and cheerful attitudes.

Kim, at Life in a Shoe always, always makes me laugh.

my post is even longer than usual (scary, isn't it?), so I'll have more to say about it tomorrow, too.  I thought I would break my post into sections to make it easier on you.

WHY?
The most important point, I think, is to feel comfortable with your authority as a parent, and your right to require chores from your children- and I mean real chores that contribute toward the well being and smooth running of the household, not just make-work, or minimal stuff like making their own beds and putting their dirty clothes in the wash.

A surprising number of mothers (at least, it surprises me) do not have their children help out around the house because they feel guilty about it, as though they are somehow asking too much of the children.  I do not struggle with that sort of guilt, so it's hard for me to understand it.  I would feel guilty about NOT having my children do chores, because I think it's very, very bad for them to grow up without having learned to serve one another within the family unit.

A mother I once knew lamented the lack of consideration and willingness to serve that her son displayed. She didn't ask for his help and she certainly never required it. She thought she would teach him purely by example, by showing the sort of service she wanted in her acts of service to him.  I suppose that might work with some people, but it sure wasn't working with this boy. He was stronger willed than she, and had the basic self centered nature all children are born with and learn to overcome as they learn empathy and the ability to see things from another point of view. He had not been trained to this, either, and so he refused to help.  They would sit and stare at each other after dinner, she hoping weakly he would clear the table voluntarily, and he stubbornly waiting for her to do what he knew she would- clear her place, and his, too.   Mothers who give in and do the work they wish their children would do sometimes lament that they are just 'too nice.'

I am not that nice.  One reason I am not that nice is because I am just more stubborn.  But the main reason I am not that nice is because I am not that mean.  That boy is going to have a very rude awakening when he grows up and leaves his mother's tender care, and should he fool some sweet young thing into marrying him, she's going to have a very ugly time of it, too because that selfishness has been allowed to put down long, deep roots.  This is unkind, and even, in my opinion, irresponsible.  It isn't sweetness in a mother's heart that causes her to let her children get away with this.  It's weakness of will and an unwillingness to put forth the effort to parent with a long term goal in heart and mind.

Children, I think, learn and develop a servant's heart by serving others, not by being given a full time maid in the form of a mother.  That's also not just my opinion.  We have the scripture (even a child is known by his actions), and we have some scientific research:

Housework has unique value in instilling a habit of serving others. Analyzing data on more than 3,000 adults, Alice Rossi, a professor emerita of sociology at University of Massachusetts Amherst, found doing household chores as a child was a major, independent predictor of whether a person chose to do volunteer or other community work as an adult. Thus for parents who value service, housework is an important teaching tool.

Making sure your children have regular, meaningful work to do around the home is virtuous.  It is good for them.  It is far kinder to them over the long term than it is to back off and let them avoid contributing their labor to the well being of the family.

Chores are not gender specific at our house, except that The Boy does not help with the Cherub's dressing or toileting.  He would if she were younger, but she is 23 and it's awkward.  He does help me with the Little Boys when they are with us, and he has helped some with his nephew.

The boy helps to cook, does dishes, dusts, sweeps, cleans sinks, folds laundry, and he will learn to sew buttons.  He does iron a little.  The girls mow yards, muck stalls, carry out trashcans, and helped with our tire retaining wall in progress in the front driveway. I did not know how to pump gas when I got married, and I do not want that for my girls.  I do not want my son to be helpless without a woman in his life. If his wife gets sick I want him to be able to be supportive and not an added burden and hindrance. He may not be a gourmet cook like his grandpapa once once, but I want him to know how to get a few basic meals together for his family so that if meals are left to him at any time for any reason he can rise to the occasion without breaking the family budget, even if that means grill cheese, soup, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers and spaghetti.


There are some, er, hazards to having certain children help with certain chores.

RESOURCES:
MOTH, Managers of Their Homes by Steven and Teri Maxwell (they also wrote Managers of Their Chores (Managers, 1) The first book came out when our sixth child was an infant, and thus, before our seventh was born. I have not seen the second book.  The first book was very, very useful to me primarily for the tip on setting up a schedule or routine, and not just for chores.  In 1992 we had two children.  By 1996 we had six children, one with multiple handicaps.  In that time period we had had a major move, had gone through several difficult health crises (the adopted children came with scabies, which took forever to get rid of, and at one point I simply burned all our clothes; I had a pregnancy requiring little time on my feet...).  I needed a boost, I needed to jump start some ideas.  I needed to figure out how to schedule four of our six children for piano practice, computer time, and one on one school time with mom without ending up scheduling the same child for four different things at once, or putting all of us on the computer at the same time.  This really, really helped me.
I would suggest some caution here, however.  The Maxwells, at least at the time they wrote the edition I have, schedule their babies, and most people I have known who use this book end up going that route.   If you are not into scheduling your babies and toddlers (and we never did this), you might find more seeds than fruit in some parts of the book, and how useful it is to you may vary with your ability to spit out the seeds.  Again, I found it helpful, but I am quite good at not doing everything I am told.=)
In addition to the book being designed by and primarily for those who schedule babies, the Maxwells also recommended not having a lot of variety in the schedule, which is completely the opposite of how I like our schedule to work.  We don't do math at the same time every day.  I don't want to have history follow lunch every single day of the week. I like to mix things up.  It's a little more complicated that way, but I prefer it.

A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul by Holly Pierlot- Holly is Catholic, and there is a lot of Catholic culture in the book.  We aren't remotely Catholic, and yet this remains probably my favorite book for helping Mom think through organizing and ordering her home.  A tie for that would be Benedict's Rule of Order, which is what Holly used to jump start her thinking as well.  I did a series of posts on adapting Benedict's Rule for family life, especially with a large family.  Benedict, after all, worked out his Rule of Order for a large group of people living in community, working towards the same goals, and trying to get along.  It's very, very practical.

The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality and All the Way Home: Power for Your Family to Be Its Best by Mary Pride- These books are probably best known for the quiver-full theology expressed in them ( a theology my husband and I found convincing).  But there is much more to them than this, MUCH more.  I am mentioning them here particularly because it addresses that issue I mentioned above- where many moms struggle with feelings of guilt over having children do chores, especially real, useful chores that contribute towards the well being of the entire family (as opposed to basic chores that ought to be considered common courtesy,  like making their own beds or getting their own clothes from their own bodies to the laundry basket, and hanging up their own clothes).  Mary Pride addresses this way of thinking and corrects it quite ably.  There is nothing to be ashamed of in having children do chores, even all the chores.  I am not training them to be children all their lives, their father and I are working towards raising adults who will be capable and competent in their daily lives. Becoming an adult, running your own household, being in charge of the cooking, cleaning, health, and day to day operation of a home is really hard enough without handicapping our children by cushioning them from what that entails.  Chores are not 'Mom's Job.'  Teaching my children to do those things is my job.

Who Says It's a Woman's Job To Clean- a how to book on doing chores suitable for using with your kids.

Tools suitable for children- I love the child-sized tools available at Michael Olaf.  Now, they may well be available elsewhere, Michael Olaf is just where I used to buy my children tools for birthday and Christmas gifts- child sized mops, brooms, scrub brushes, dust pans, dusting clothes, and more- and these are good, quality products, not cheap plastic toys.  You can get along just fine without them, of course.  But the catalog can also give you good ideas about things to adapt for a child's use (cut down a small broom to size, for instance, or use a small whisk broom intended for sweeping off a work bench for a child to use with a dust pan).  Keep in mind, however, that most children actually want to know how to do things.  They like to be contributing, working, participating members of the family (especially if you welcome their involvement when they are quite young), and giving them a real broom just their size reinforces the truth that you value their work.


Tomorrow I'll have more about what chores our children did, when, and how we taught them their chores (if you type that word many times it begins to look very, very strange)

The Little Striderling....

He has put on weight on just Mama's milk!
He has kept his feeds down- albeit with some extra care and attention from Mama during the day, attention she does not think the night nurses will have time to give him, but we're praying he does okay through the night.
He passed the sleep test.
His parents passed their parent care class while he was at his sleep test.
They are scheduled to have the entire weekend alone with the Striderling in another room of the hospital set up for parent care. I say alone, but Strider, Senior has to go to work on Sunday, so I might join the HG and the Striderling, and also there are nurses there available to oversee things and answer questions or concerns that may come up- it's a transitional move
This all heading toward the following result-

The Doctors are tip-toeing around Striderling and whispering their plans because they are afraid if he hears them he will throw a monkey wrench in them as he has done before, but tentatively, oh, so very tentatively.....


They hope to be waving good-bye to the Striderling and his parents on Monday morning!

Thereafter will begin the ongoing adventure of regular therapies, speech, physical, and occupational, for The Striderling, meetings with the bone specialists to see what exactly his bone dysplasia will mean for his life and development, the pulmonary specialists to make sure he's breathing as well as he can, the kidney people to make sure his kidneys are working, meetings with the local doctor to be sure he's gaining weight well enough, appointments with a hospital in a nearby state to look at his rare medical condition as a whole- Jeune's Syndrome affects one in every 100,000 to 130,000 babies, as I mentioned before. But it only struck me recently just how bizarre that thirty thousand spread is. Cystic Fibrosis, another 'rare' genetic condition, strikes about 1 in 4,000 babies, for some perspective.

Anyway, it will be a busy time, but it will be their time, and there will be hours and hours spent in the quite and privacy of their own sweet little home, snuggling skin to skin with baby, dozing together in a recliner with nobody to tell them how dangerous that is.

And all this begins Monday, if the Striderling doesn't throw a spanner in the works.

There was GREAT rejoicing.

I could have told them that

According to the online Montessori Catalog Michael Olaf:

A recent NYTimes article (March 3, 2009) tells us "In a Helpless Baby, the Roots of Our Social Glue" the author tells us that "Anthropologists have made the startling discovery that . . . among traditional cultures without television or Internet access, a baby is the best show in town."

Any member of a larger family could say the same.  It's one of the nicest things about having a large family with a wide age spread- you have other people you love always there to share delight in the antics of the baby.

Global Warming Causes Freezing Winters and WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!

For the moment we are breathing again where the STriderling is concerned, which means I found some time to browse the poliblogs and climate blogs and came across some things that tickled my fancy.

This comment on how only 'older people' don't believe in global warming, for example, because they are:

worse educated and and have been exposed to right-wing propaganda longer (a lot of denialism is just cold war anti-communist propaganda rehashed).

Seriously, has anyone ever met a denialist under 60?

It made me giggle.

You may remember this from ten years ago:

According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become “a very rare and exciting event”.

“Children just aren’t going to know what snow is,” he said.

When convenient to the message, we are told that weather isn't climate, except, of course, for when it is, and now it turns out, that's all the time. Cold winter? Global Warming. Warm winter? Global Warming. Hurricanes? Global warming. Heavy snowfall? Global warming. Light or no snowfall? Global warming. It's a one size fits all response.

If you've not yet seen Greg Craven's rather hysterical defense of a hysterical speech, you should. Because it's all about the children, of course.

Never mind concerns that the children might grow up and find themselves:

unable to find meaningful work because energy policies revolving around windmills and solar panels drove the price of energy so high industry pulled their tent and went elsewhere.

http://opinion.financialpost.com/2010/12/17/lawrence-solomon-ontario%E2%80%99s-odious-obligations/

Or they might find themselves in a society that's been:

destabilised – at least in the UK, where the government takes AGW seriously, and that our capacity to deal with a real crisis is being diminished. Perhaps our own Met Office’s blandishments about mild winters, has contributed to our difficulty at handling the snow right now. In the future, that little difficulty could be multiplied a thousand fold if our electricity supply becomes unreliable – waiting for the right kind of wind!

And quite a few of us are concerned here and now about the way science teachers like Greg Craven abuse their position in order to indoctrinate rather than educate other people's children.

Another Update

Striderling prayer request and update from his papa (short version): as long as Striderling keeps his food down AND starts showing some weight gain (he lost a bit over the last few days, go figure) they're going to leave him off of formula, if he doesn't show weight gain or if things start going rough food wise, then they'll re-evaluate, so keep down that food and bring up the weight!

Update On the Striderling's Surgery

From His Papa, who says that the Striderling's:

"6 o'clock feeding went well, he seemed to gag a bit on his 8 o'clock, but has kept it down so far - next feeding is 30mL, all breast-milk :D - hang in there buddy! - Praise God!"

Another NICU Sidenote

There is another family with a baby in a different NICU module who have a very similar last name to our baby- and the hospital doesn't have a first name on either baby (we don't know why, OUR baby had a first name before he ever went to the hospital, but this hospital never seems to have gotten that memo).  I think the other baby has a first name, but the hospital persists in calling him 'Baby Boy ______ ' as well.

When I say a similar last name, I mean- nearly identical.  There is a single vowel that is different- one of the couples has a u where the other family has an a.  That's it.  Think of them as Yammy and Yummy, they are that close.  And, of course, when written down, sometimes the letter u looks like the letter a, depending on the writer's penmanship and/or haste.

So the other day when the HG was skimming through her Yummy son's medical files, she found some pages belonging to the Yammy baby.  She also found her age listed as 21 (she is 27).  She corrected her age, and then took the other baby's papers to the nurse's station and handed them over.  We understand how this happened, and we can only hope the parents of the other baby, or the nurses, think to look through his file and remove any of OUR baby's papers.

Bad or simply hurried handwriting, and the remarkable coincidence of two patients in the NICU at the same time with remarkably similar names, neither name often confused with anything other than what it is, and, while we wish more care had been taken, we do understand how this happened.

This does not explain why I received a phone call at 7:30 yesterday morning from the hospital's administrative office, asking for my help as the appropriate contact to help her finish filling out all the correct paperwork for Baby Yipyap*.  This baby is apparently in the same module as our baby, and when she called the module this morning to ask for contact information for Baby Yipyap so she could get the correct first name and the parents' information, my cell phone is the number she was given.

I explained who I was and that I was the grandmama of the Yummy baby- NOT a Yipyap baby.

"Your last name isn't Yipyap?" she asked me in some bewilderment.

"Nope," I said.

  "And neither of the parents' last name is Yipyap?" She continued, sounding baffled.

"They are not," I agreed.

 "And the baby's name isn't Yipyap?  Neither his first or his last name?"

"None of the above," I said.  "I don't think either side even has a Yipyap in the family tree anywhere at all, nor do any of us have that as a first or middle name in any form or fashion, and the baby's full name doesn't have anything remotely like Yipyap.  Furthermore, I am only the grandmother, and I was the appropriate person to contact last week, if they needed to find his mother to tell her a test was scheduled or a doctor was looking for her.  But his Daddy arrived on Friday afternoon, and I'm not even in town anymore."

She sighed.  Then she laughed.  Then she apologized and said she'd call back up to the NICU and tell them to get my contact information off of the Yipyap baby's paperwork, and see if she could track down the proper parties.

*all names have been changed.  So far as I know, none of the families in the NICU have the last name Yummy, Yammy, or Yipyap.

Update

Scroll down for updates.

I haven't had time to look any of this up, and I got it from my husband, who heard it from our son-in-law- Doctors have now decided baby has a hypertrophic pyloris and they are going to do a pylomyotomy, which involves a 'small incision' to enlarge something so food can get where it needs to go.

It's not at all clear to me why this wasn't a problem until he had surgery, but, again, this is all I know- I don't even know when.

Update:


I googled. this seems to be a good explanation. Here are the relevant excerpts:

"Pyloric stenosis is a narrowing of the pylorus, the lower part of the stomach through which food and other stomach contents pass to enter the small intestine. When an infant has pyloric stenosis, the muscles in the pylorus have become enlarged to the point where food is prevented from emptying out of the stomach.

...

Most infants who develop pyloric stenosis are usually between 2 weeks and 2 months of age — symptoms usually appear during or after the third week of life. It is one of the more common causes of intestinal obstruction during infancy that requires surgery.
....
It is believed that babies who develop the condition are not born with pyloric stenosis, but that the progressive thickening of the pylorus occurs after birth. An affected infant begins showing symptoms when the pylorus is so thickened that the stomach can no longer empty properly.

It is not known exactly what causes the thickening of the muscles of the pylorus — it may be a combination of several factors. Some researchers believe that maternal hormones could be a contributing cause. Others believe that the thickening of the muscle is the stomach's response to some type of allergic reaction in the body.
...

A surgical procedure called pyloromyotomy, which involves cutting through the thickened muscles of the pylorus, is performed to relieve the obstruction from pyloric stenosis. The pylorus is examined through a very small incision, and the muscles that are overgrown and thickened are spread. Nothing is cut out — the stitches are under the skin and there are no stitches or clips to remove.

After surgery, most babies are able to return to normal feedings fairly quickly. The baby starts feeding again 3 to 4 hours after the surgery, and the baby can return to breast-feeding or the formula that he was on prior to the surgery. Because of swelling at the surgery site, the baby may still vomit small amounts for a day or so after surgery. As long as there are no complications, most babies who have undergone pyloromyotomy can return to a normal feeding schedule and be sent home within 48 hours of the surgery."

They won't be going home 48 hours after surgery, but they might be back on track for going home within a couple days. IF this is, indeed, the problem. IF it wasn't triggered by excessive scarring due to surgery (something Aunty FYG has to worry about), IF nothing else comes up....

It does make some sense, though- he was having more residuals from his feeds before the surgery. There could be an allergic reaction to the corn syrup, supplements, vitamins, surgery, etc triggering it.

Update: Surgery is scheduled for about 4:00 Eastern time, which, in hospital time is sometime before ten p.m. as I figure it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Last Update for Tonight (I hope):
He's out of surgery and seems to be doing very, very well.  They want him to hold down two feedings of pedialyte before they start him on half feedings of breastmilk.

The nurse who had him the night of his last surgery happens to be his nurse tonight, and she says he looks much better than he did when she had him before.

Of baby digestive systems, hospital protocols, and circular reasoning

First I have no new update on the Striderling. So far as I know, he's back on the I.V., feedings reduced once more, and this pushes back other things he needed before they could discuss going home (another sleep test, for one thing).

But I thought I'd share the rest of the story about the HG's discussion with the hospital about adding fortifiers to her breast milk.
First, a lot of background.=)

You may recall that at the previous hospital there were a number of fabulous, lovely, nice, parent friendly nurses. But there was also that ONE- the really obnoxious nurse, the one that other nurses avoided, and would come to us and apologize for her behavior and attitude. One day at the end of the day she deigned to inform the HG that since another nurse had mixed up too much formula the night before, and since formula doesn't keep as well as breastmilk, she had made the command decision (without consulting or even notifying anybody else) to set aside all the HG's breastmilk and just give the Striderling straight formula all day long- in the interest of thrift, I guess. The Striderling HAD been getting half breastmilk and half formula at each feeding, or at least, at the majority of them. And she suddenly changed this on him without so much as a by your leave.

Well, the next day he was constipated, they said. Previously, he had been having regular bowel movements on a fairly frequent basis, so it was different for him. They gave him a glycerin chip enema, there was a blow-out, and all was well.

Then they moved to this hospital.

Up until the Striderling's surgery, about half of his feeds continued to be formula. In addition, they've also been adding some formula fortifier to mama's milk every time they feed it to him. They've been doing this since early on because of his extra caloric needs- he burns extra calories just breathing.

One night the HG pulled the can out of the drawer and read the ingredients. The first two ingredients were dry milk powder and corn syrup solids. CORN SYRUP SOLIDS? Since when was it a good idea to stuff that down the stomach of a newborn? She ranted a bit to her husband (it was the weekend so he was down there), and the grandmother of the baby in the bed next to the Striderling's encouraged her to speak up. Because the Striderling does have serious needs for extra calories, she decided to ask about just stopping formula additives to her milk. When mama's milk was to be had, she was going to ask for him to get just that. It's easier on his digestive system.

Then when she got to the hospital the next morning, they were concerned because the Striderling had not had a bowel movement in a little over 24 hours and so they were going to give him another glycerin chip enema.

The HG told her she was concerned about how hard the formula additive was on Striderling's system, that the corn syrup solids were not good for him, and that since he seemed to be back on track for weight gain and wasn't even getting breastmilk at all feedings, she wondered if they'd consider giving him straight breastmilk whenever it was available.

That nurse went and got the nurse practitioner for the HG and that's when the fun really started.

Here is the HG's account- basically, random excerpts from the conversation, as far as she remembered them in her new mama, NICU brain, sleep deprived state:

NP: *bright tone* I hear you have some questions and concerns?

Me: *repeating what I'd said about the formula being hard on his system* + he hasn't had a bm for over 24 hours, which isn't like him + he had a lot of residual left in his stomach (since he's on a feeding tube, they check the contents of his stomach before his next feeding. That day he had A LOT mroe than usual left), so I thought his digestive system was having a rough time and needed a break. Could we consider stopping the Neosure with breastmilk and just giving him straight breastmilk when it's available?

NP: *clearly not expecting something like this* Well...he needs the extra calories, you know...

Me: Yes, he does, but he's getting them with the formula. His system is clearly having a hard time, though, and straight breastmilk would be a lot easier on him.

NP: *reverting to That tone that professionals use when talking to Overly Concerned And Young Parents* Well, you know it's totally normal for babies to not poop for several days.
THEN she remembers that it's the hospital choosing to give him the glycerin chip because of his digestive slowness. She seems embarrassed and trails away from that train of thought.


Favorite Part Me: It's not just that. He has A LOT of residual left. He normally doesn't have that much left.

NP: Well, remember he's also got hypotonia. His muscle tone is really low and it may just take more work for him to digest things right now.

Me: Sooo wouldn't that be another reason to stop adding formula to his breastmilk? Digestion is already hard on him and we're making it harder?

NP: ........

At this point this NP remembered that she didn't have the authority to make a change like that anyway, it was up to the doctors. So she left. Interestingly, the night nurse on duty then said to the HG, "I thought you were convincing. It's nice to see parents advocating for their children." Unfortunately, she only works at this hospital three days a month.

 Later the HG told me the NP also dismissed her concerns by saying that the formula additives wouldn't be contributing to his sluggish bm unless there was iron in it. The HG took out the can and showed her iron on the label. That's when she said that there really wasn't anything to worry about when a baby didn't have a bm in 24 hours, but stopped sort when she recalled the hospital was then giving an enema for something she said wasn't a problem.

The next morning the HG went through the same spiel with the doctor, who made many of the same points the NP had, but who in the end agreed that there would be no more additives to her breastmilk, unless there wasn't enough milk for a full feeding, in which case formula would be added, but not the other stuff.

Later she discussed the vitamins they were also adding to his food (because breastmilk, did you know, does not have enough vitamin D in it?)- these vitamins stink and the Striderling generally spit them back up. They also have iron in them, as did the formula. I was there for this discussion, and two points were interesting to me. One was that the day Nurse Practioner, the father of four, the guy we really really like, still made the same mistake- telling her the vitamins should not be a problem since they don't have iron- but they do, and I pointed out the iron is also in his formula. And then he said the same thing about it not being a problem if the baby didn't have a bm, and the HG said, "Then why is he getting glycerin chip enemas?"

Then the day NP smiled slightly and very drily said, "WElllll, some people really seem to have a lot of faith in glycerin chip enemas.... and other people........ um, not so much."

It was very clear in which group he placed himself. And while he did not concede then and there, the vitamins were dropped for at least a while.

So... the HG won those battles, additives were no longer added to his milk, they agreed to give him straight breastmilk when it was available, and that was a very good day.

Then he had the surgery. Because he wasn't allowed to eat for several feedings before and after the surgery, she caught up on the milk supply and now has some in the freezer. And because they had him on half, and even quarter feedings, she's been able to catch up even more. So all his feedings since surgery have been strictly breastmilk.

Only ever since the surgery, he's thrown up each feeding. The surgeons insist it's not their g-tube, but nobody seems to have a clue what else could be going on.

They want to blame the hypotonia, but actually, he's been moving a bit more, his grip is tightening, and this hypotonic child has managed to pull out his I.V. and his oxygen (the oxygen more than once). The HG feels sick and is worried they made the wrong decision with the g-tube, but one of the reasons for choosing the g-tube is the concern that he could pull out the ng-tube too easily, and if he does that during a feeding, he could aspirate (a high, high risk for him given his condition). The fact that he's managed to pull out the oxygen tube, and very nearly pulled out the tube they have now inserted down his throat to release air bubbles there, seems to indicate her concerns about pulling out the NG-tube were justified. But the fact that he hasn't been able to eat since surgery several days ago....?

-------------------------------

Glossary of terms:

NP- Nurse Practioner, basically the person in charge on the NICU ward when the doctor isn't there.

Hypotonia, hypotonic- floppy, low muscle tone, weak and sluggish muscles

G-tube and NG-tube: the g-tube is a gastric tube for the purpose of feeding and it is inserted through an incision in the abdomen and it remains there until surgically removed. The NG Tube is nasal gastric and is inserted down the nose into the stomach. The g-tube is more suitable when it's going to be used more than just a few weeks or when the patient has trouble swallowing (which the Striderling does).

Glycerin chip enema

Fortifiers- formula additives mixed in with breast-milk to increase the caloric content- usually given for preemies.

Vitamin D in breastmilk:  Whether breastmilk has enough vitamin D depends on whether or not Mom does.  A mom and baby living in the NICU and never seeing sunshine might need D supplements - but if mom takes enough of them, baby shouldn't need the supplements.

Residuals- in this case,  food left in the stomach from a previous feeding

Corn syrup solids- added to formula for caloric count.  has no other nutritional benefit, and may have several harmful results.

Medical degree from Hell- what you get in times like these.

Sigh

The Striderling threw up his last feeding.

They are trying to get another I.V. in him (both hands and feet are bruised from previous attempts, and so is his head).

They will be skipping his next feed, and begin again in the morning, and try to figure out what's going on with his little tummy.=(

Striderling

The Striderling's Daddy sends word that the Striderling looks like he feels much better today, and he seems quite pipped about it, but that's all the news I have. Still, that's quite happy making news.

Updated again:
Daddy Strider says when they got to the hospital today it was obvious Baby Striderling is feeling much better, for which we thank God. They started feedings again, for which we thank God.

That for which we beseech God: The plan was to start those feedings very small, keeping him on IV nourishment as well. However, Baby Striderling managed to pull out his I.V. and the little Striderling is a hard, hard stick. He also clots quickly- surgery had put another I.V. in his foot for good measure, and that one had to be removed because he clotted over it. Four people tried today to get an I.V. back in and four people gave up. Nobody enjoyed this much. It's deeply distressing to his parents and it is exhausting for a baby who has to fight for breath to be stabbed repeatedly with needles in his precious, darling, and already bruised little head. (I suppose the nurses don't find it fun, either. I feel no particular ill will for them, but they did go into this job with their eyes open, unlike my grandbaby....)

So... the current solution is to increase his feeds faster than planned, and pray hard he holds them down. IF he does, then no I.V. If he doesn't, they have to find a way to get an I.V. back in him one way or the other, and this will not be pleasant.

Prayers: he holds his feeds down and thrives on them. If another I.V. is needed, that he will suddenly become an 'easy stick' and it will be done quickly and effortlessly. Mama's milk supply, as ever, and rest and comfort for both parents and all the other Friends and Relations.

Striderling is a month old already, which means he has already beaten all kinds of odds, and, to be honest, far surpassed my expectations, much to my relief and deep gratitude. His Mommy has slept in her own bed once since he was born. IF he is able to keep his feeds down, then he may even get to come home with his Dear Family before Daddy's winter break ends, giving them a couple of days at least home, just the three of them, something they dearly hope for.

And.... updated again with cautiously joyful news:

Striderling's continued lack of an I.V. was to be based on his toleration of his feedings, and passing a dextrose test. That test was 45 minutes ago, he passed. He's held down his feeds, and so far, that means no I.V.- Hooray!!!

The HG reports that she *told* the nurse the Striderling is a hard stick- this being a new phrase in our vocabulary, learned since the STriderling's birth. *Every* single person who has tried to insert a needle into this baby has said, "Wow, he's a really hard stick," and nobody has ever gotten it on the first try. It has been our conclusion based on frustrating experience this month that, and I mean this with all seriousness, part of every NICU nurse's training is to cheerfully but firmly dismiss whatever the family says about the patient or the family history. This nurse did her duty, smiled cheerfully and firmly and said, "Oh, no, I see two good sticking places," and she indicated she would have no trouble at all.

Three people later, the young Striderling still didn't have an I.V. but we would all so much rather have had that cheerful nurse prove the HG wrong. I am not even sure the nurse profited from this little lesson in listening to Mama.

Sunday Hymn Post

Have you not known, have you not heard

That firm remains on high

The everlasting throne of Him

Who formed the earth and sky?

Are you afraid His power shall fail

When comes your evil day?

And can an all creating arm

Grow weary or decay?

Supreme in wisdom as in power

The Rock of Ages stands,

Though Him you cannot see, nor trace

The working of His hands.

He gives the conquest to the weak,

Supports the fainting heart;

And courage in the evil hour

His heavenly aids impart.

Mere human power shall fast decay,

And youthful vigor cease;

But they who wait upon the Lord

In strength shall still increase.

They with unwearied feet shall tread

The path of life divine;

With growing ardor onward move,

With growing brightness shine.

On eagles’ wings they mount, they soar,

Their wings are faith and love;

Till, past the cloudy regions here,

They rise to Heav’n above.

Taken from one of my favorite passages, the first one I turn to for comfort and perspective, Isaiah 40:

21 Have ye not known? have ye not heard? hath it not been told you from the beginning? have ye not understood from the foundations of the earth? 22 It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in: 23 That bringeth the princes to nothing; he maketh the judges of the earth as vanity. 24 Yea, they shall not be planted; yea, they shall not be sown: yea, their stock shall not take root in the earth: and he shall also blow upon them, and they shall wither, and the whirlwind shall take them away as stubble. 25 To whom then will ye liken me, or shall I be equal? saith the Holy One. 26 Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth.

27 Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God? 28 Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding. 29 He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. 30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: 31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew [7] their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Between the Hospital and Our House

 This is one of our cows.=)

Corn stubble and snow

update and prayer request, again

Update 5:53, Christmas Eve: Surgeons currently say they do not think the g-tube is venting. They just want to keep the Striderling on the tube suctioning out his stomach, and hold off feeding the little mite until tomorrow morning and then see how he does. I am trying not to be cynical and think the surgeons just said that because who wants to work on Christmas Day?


Another update (12:42 pm): Now they are wondering if the g-tube is not venting properly. We do not know yet what they do if that is the case. They took another x-ray just a few minutes ago and we are waiting for the doctor and surgeons to look at the films and confer with one another. He's had no food since throwing up the last feeding at 3:00 a.m. and should soon start getting something other than hydration in his I.V.
He has seemed MUCH more comfortable since they inserted the tube down his throat to his belly to vent out air.


Update (9:00 AM): The follow up x-rays seem to indicate it is NOT the G-tube leaking, for which, thank-you, God. Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you.
The current theory, which was my first theory (one rather dismissed previously when I expressed it) is that he just didn't handle the anesthesia too well (neither does his grandmama, his mama, or his aunty) and they fed him too much, too soon. They are going to cut back more on his feedings and at some point this morning they will put a tube back down his throat to release the air there.
His vitals are excellent. He looks drawn, tired, and more fragile to this grandmama than he did yesterday, but who wouldn't look drawn and fragile after throwing up out of your mouth and nose all day long?




(from the e-mail my daughter sent to our congregation's e-mail list:

...my brain is tired and we're working on getting ready to head to the hospital again. The night nurse who called me told me I should go back to bed and get more sleep. "Uhm," I thought, "it's not your kid who's been throwing up for over a day and who's getting x-rays at awful hours of the morning.")

As per usual, Mom and I spent almost all day yesterday (the 23rd) by (Striderling's) bedside. Even with getting only half feedings, he was throwing up considerably after every feeding. We discussed this with the night nurse before leaving, as he makes *very* little noise when he's getting sick and we were only able to catch and clean up his episodes as quickly as we did *because* mom and I were by the bed. She decided to space his feeding out over an hour to see if that helped him. He still got sick (and tore out his head IV, which meant putting in a replacement). They decided to skip the midnight feeding and try again at 3. He got sick again at 3 so they finally decided something wasn't right and ordered an x-ray. The x-ray showed some air in his belly in places it's not generally supposed to be. They're doing a follow-up x-ray right about now (6 a.m.) to see if air is still leaking in, which would be a concern they'd have to fix, or if it's left over from something else and not something they need to worry about correcting. Please pray that it's not leaking in, as follow up for that could potentially be complicated. We don't want complications - we want the STriderling to be comfortable, eating, and ready to head home SOON.

Four Moms Answer Questions

Today was a four moms answer questions post, and I apologize for being so late getting mine out. I am sure the burning question on all your minds is, of course, how my grandbaby is doing. It's pretty much the only question on my mind these days, with some head space devoted to the question of how the rest of my family is doing without me there.

He had a rough night after his g-tube surgery and was in a lot of pain. This led to us getting back to the apartment late, where we came to find a stopped up toilet and no plunger (it's a borrowed apartment, the owner is out of state). The only one available was a 12 inch sink plunger purchased at a CVS minutes before closing at midnight. I unstopped the toilet, and I was so tired last night I decided to skip unloading the dishwasher and just put the dirty dishes in it and run it all over again, and then I went to bed. All this late night led to us sleeping in, which led to me not getting to a computer until now.

The little Striderling has had morphine and may get another dose- it's very hard to see him so uncomfortable, poor little mite. He is spitting up more, which is risky since he aspirates, but otherwise, he is still doing well. The therapist came by to see him and said she'd already seen improvement in his hypotonia. His mama has taken a class on giving home care to an infant on oxygen and a feeding tube, and his papa will be able to take the class early next week.

They seem to be hopeful here that the Striderling can go home before the New Year, but after Christmas. We are holding our breaths, not daring to hope too hard for this. Then there will be appointments with bone specialists, pulmonary specialists, urologists, and geneticists, probably for years to come.

Note that, world, years to come. Twenty years ago, perhaps even ten, the little Striderling would not have survived his first week, perhaps not even his first few hours. We are grateful.

And, of course, he is adorable, precious, and dearly loved.

Other questions:
What kind of vacuum cleaner do you use, or if you don't, what do you use instead? We have not yet found one that performs well, is light enough for kids to manage, and lasts longer than a few years.

We loathe carpeting and all the dirt that comes with it, so this house was built with no carpeting at all except the stairs. I wish I had not permitted myself to be talked into carpeting on the stairs.
Before this, we often had no choice on floor coverings- rented houses, or houses purchased with carpet already installed. I never found a vacuum I liked, but I would definitely save up and try a Dyson next time. They may be expensive, but so is burning out a vacuum on girls long hair, dog hair, and country dirt every year or so, not to mention the allergies, dirt, and ickiness beneath the carpet. The newest and quite adorable grand-baby has a high risk of respiratory infections the first three years, which can be devastating to him, and carpet free would be the way to go if they decide to look for a new home more suitable to his special needs.

Have you ever had a child who is a fussy eater? If you have, what did you do about it?

Yes. I am mean. Kind of. More about that here. This will be a bigger issue with the newest grandbaby, since he is fed via g-tube. We will have to work extra hard to make sure he doesn't develop texture/taste aversions- difficult, when he aspirates everything.

What do various family members do with long hair at night to keep it from being tangled in the morning? Do you all braid it before bed?

Yes, braiding is usually the best way. Otherwise, we just make a lot of faces and yelp much in the morning.=) My newest grandson, by the way, has a velvety soft head of dark hair- thin, but dark. However, his lashes are very light, so I think his hair will lighten.

There are some other really great questions I wanted to address, questions about books, reading, how we decide which books are suitable, what our rules are for computer time, etc- but they require more focus than I have right now (have I mentioned my grandson is cute?), so maybe I will be able to get to those fabulous question in January.

Kim is talking about breastfeeding, Calgon, clothing storage, and more.
Connie is talking about working with unmotivated learners.
Kimberly is talking about books for mom.

All great topics- be sure to visit them all. If you have other questions, be sure to leave them in a comment here or email me- and keep on praying for that sweet grandbaby of mine and his parents.

Surgery Went Well

Surgery went well, we've seen him awake since his surgery, the g-tube is in place with a button- which is what the HG wanted, but didn't think they'd be able to give, and we are very thankful.

We love the nurse practitioner who is kind of in charge of the NICU ward- he's a dear man, father of four, very wise, very mom-friendly.

We love the nurse we had today- she's fabulous, upbeat, positive, cheerful, also very, very mom-friendly.

Just so you know, the NICU waiting room is a fabulous people watching place. Some writer more eloquent than I should sit here a few weeks and write of it, perhaps already has. It deserves a better tongue.

There is a couple in their forties hoping and praying for their very premature twins, after a barren twenty years of marriage where they longed for children. There is a young single teen mom of a preemie who tells people that she is glad she won't have to go to the prom with a big belly, like the rest of her class, because then it would be too hard to find a prom dress. There are the twins, where one has cystic fibrosis, and the young parents have a huge family support group here for them, and there is the young mother whose husband cannot get off work and whose other relatives do not live in the contiguous United States.

It is a veritable united nations, spanning the socio-economic ladder from top to bottom, several languages and cultures are present, as well as a wide range of fashion sense. There is a young girl with a deliberate case of plumber's backside- she rolls her pant tops down so as to display what my old great-grandma used to call, in shocked whispers 'her black thread'. There is a grandfather always in business attire, and a young mother who must have been whisked here from her delivery table, still in robe and slippers. There are the pierced, tattooed, and quite definitely gang related, and there is the grandma in comfortable boots, black skirt, bright red Christmas sweatshirt with penguins sporting across the front and a head-covering, and more besides.

We are all here for similar reasons, and we all find common ground in pain, and also in hope.

Some People Should Never Leave the Burger World

I mentioned A., the Desk Girl who mostly is not at the desk, or hasn't been. And I mentioned the smile it gave me when I overheard her supervisor politely, calmly, but quite firmly rebuking her for the sloppy way she'd been doing her job. That was yesterday morning.

Yesterday she stayed at the desk all day long, which was pleasant. What was not pleasant was this exchange, this unbelievable exchange she had with the HG:

The entrance to the NICU is guarded by a desk gal who has to swipe her card to let you in. Actually, it's *supposed* to be guarded by a desk gal. Many days this week the desk has been ungarded and parents wanting to see their children have been forced to call the nurses in the NICU to get a swipe in. Today the desk gal was there ALL day long, though, and it was mostly glorious... except for this instance, as reported by the HG:

HG: Can you let me in, please?
Chippy Girl, Keeper of the NICU Door: No.
HG: *thinking she must have misheard* Can you let me into the NICU, please?
Chippy Girl, Keeper of the NICU Door: No. You can't go back there for three hours.
Me: *blank, exhausted stare as I try to come to grips to not seeing the Striderling for three hours straight*
Chippy Girl, Keeper of the NICU Door: Just kidding!

Yeah. Outrageous. And I am complaining about this one.

Striderling's surgery is at 1:30 today. Keep praying.

Random updates

This is the first time a computer has been available and I have been near it today. =)
Last night the weather was EWWWW.
I drove from apartment to hospital in a blizzard. In the driving snow. Uphill. Both ways. I am sure it is both ways, because you have to go down various one way streets, so you can't come home the same way you left. Feel sorry for me? Phsaw. I was hanging out with the STriderling and his mama. I miss the rest of my family, but the little Striderling is pretty amazing.

The drive... Well, that was amazing in a totally different way. I was amazed that I made it to the hospital, for one thing.

Plus, what with one thing and another the situation was such that I had not been the last person to park the vehicle I was using to ferry her around, and I didn't think to look for it when my husband dropped me off at the apartment. Had I left the apartment again in the middle of the day, this would not have mattered, but since when I left just a handful of hours after being dropped off, it was dark and snowy outside and all vehicles were under- I kid you not, at least four inches of snow, it took me a few minutes to figure it out.

It took an hour to go 30 minutes to the hospital- and I felt positively wreckless if I tried going 23 mph in a 45mph zone. I skidded once, and only once. It happened to be while stopping at a stop light. Happily, there were no other idiots out in the blizzard, so I knew I could skid through the intersection safetly if it came to that. But I told my poor girly that I did not think it wise to drive home again. That was not a happy making suggestion, and we slept in a waiting room. We were given pillows, blankets, towels, soap and shampoo, and we were allowed to go into the PICU waiting room, which is different from NICU waiting room.

Think about this: The PICU waiting room has couches that can, in a pinch, be beds, and are, in fact, intended for that purpose. It has its own bathroom/shower, and a fabulous pumping room with comfortable chairs, a sink, and television. Plus a cappucino machine. But the PICU parents, unlike the NICU parents, can sleep in the room with their kids, so there is hardly ever anybody in the PICU waiting room. And the PICU waiting room is locked, and only staff and PICU parents may use it. It's much quieter than the NICU waiting room.

The NICU waiting room has two small pumping rooms sans television, sink, or comfortable chairs, but anybody in the hospital may use them (and does. I have seen them used for changing clothes). NICU parents cannot sleep in the room with their kids, but they don't get beds in the waiting room, none of the couches are long enough for anybody over 6 to sleep on them, nor do NICU parents get their own bathroom with shower (they do get a locker and a lock). And, most insulting of all- there is NO cappucino machine.

=( There is black coffee or hot water. No French Vanilla.

Of course, we NICU people do have two computers. Remember how this room is not locked, unlike the PICU room? I am pretty sure some of the teens from the cancer floor have figured this out and they spend a lot of time over here on the computer. It would be churlish to complain given the circumstances, so I am not, but what about that French Vanilla? Hmmm? I'd accept quite a bit of injustice for the French Vanilla. The HG, however, is holding out for a better pumping room- and one that doesn't have to serve something like 90 other moms plus staff.

I held the Striderling for a couple of hours this afternoon. He just slept, but he slept like he was melting in my arms. Very cozy. I sang him lots of songs. I sometimes wonder how that sounds to strangers, because I am a chain of association singer, and so my songs flow seamlessly from murder ballads to lullabyes to hymns to folk songs and around about and back again (all around the kitchen, cock-a-doodle-doodle-do, Jesus loves you, on the banks of the Ohio, there's not a friend like the Lowly Jesus, Wally Wally, Amazing Grace, O Sister Phoebe, skillet good and greasy, Flee as a Bird, Old Rugged Cross....)

My mother decided that in the present crisis text messaging would be best suited for our overuse of minutes, and it's been great. I find it tedious on my phone, but I love being able to get messages from the other Progeny while I am in the NICU and trade corny jokes with the FYG from the cafeteria while I am eating and she is home in bed with a cold.

This is the weirdest Christmas ever, for us. I think. Um, yup. Weirdest.

IS there a baby formula acceptable to crunchy moms? Is there at least one where corn syrup solids is not the second ingredient listed? Sans soy oils? Because, really. Right now, half his feedings are breastmilk and half are formula, and the formula contains milk solids, corn syrup solids, soy oil, safflower oil, whey powder, and other things of ickiness. But mostly, the corn syrup solids (SeCOND ingredient?!?!). We need to find an alternative and fast, and who knew we'd need to investigate formula?

Striderling gets his g-tube tomorrow. Surgery. Full anesthetic. IV. Etc. Prayers appreciated. I am afraid I am not the prop and support to his Mum here that I should be. The anesthethesiologist walked off and I looked at her and quavered, "Um......."
And she said, "I know, Mom. Me, too." And then I said something helpful like, "But the NG tube sounds much better, now," and she said, "I know Mom, me, too, but all our reasons for the G tube are still in place," and I said... well, I bit my tongue, because she is right, but, oh, it hurts. He's 7.5 pounds of cuteness about to be gassed and cut. See what a prop and support I am? Wouldn't you just love to have me around helping you out when your baby is going in for surgery? I say these things here so I don't say them there, you see. It helps me.

You know how Peter Pan says if you believe in fairies, clap your hands? Well, I think it's the same sort of magic - whereby if I can word things strongly enough to make all our favorite friends and strangers reading this wincing in pain, it dilutes mine. Every time you wince, the constriction in my own throat and gut releases just a teensy, tiny bit.

Okay, this was funny- the lackadaisical gal who is paid to work the front desk of the NICU, the one who was a bit slow on the pump issue (and who consequently wasted a LOT of time for the lactation consultant, who was running all over looking for my daughter, when, if the gal at the desk had actually delivered a message, she would have known where to go AND had a cell phone number to call)... the one is supposed to be at the front desk all day but usually is not.... I made no public complaint. Yet today I overheard her supervisor telling her that "When you do not know something, you find out. You call me. You just don't let things slide here. That is NOT how we do things here. They deserve better than this from you." Yeah. Cool.

Yes, schedenfreude.

It's almost as tasty as French Vanilla.

Update, Monday

The Striderling is plumping up nicely. I came home Saturday morning at 2:00 AM, since Papa Strider was off work for the weekend. He returned to work today, so the HM, the FYG, and I drove down so Grandpa could see the Striderling, sing to him, and tell him silly stories for the first time in ten days.

The Striderling is working towards coming home. He is now a pound over birthweight, is doing well on the oxygen he will have to have at home (although there needs to be one more sleep test to be sure), will have a g-tube installed sometime, and his parents need a training class on the feeding tube and oxygen use.

The HG's pumping results increased dramatically with her husband here (surprise? not). She won a battle this morning on the hospital's adding 'fortified' content to her breastmilk- the fortification included corn syrup solids (!) and iron, and the Striderling was constipated, poor dear. It's a very funny battle, and I shall tell you all about it later. You will be amused.

Next up- seeing if she can get them to stop adding vitamin D his feedings. His vitamins make him spit up, and the purported reason is that breastmilk is deficient in Vitamin D. This is a kid who spirates, so he needs not to be given stuff that makes him spit up. Then, possibly, seek to discover why, when she called a nurse in the morning to ask what was new, that nurse did not think it important to tell her the pulmonary specialist had been in to see him and order another sleep test. Once again, we like all the nurses we've met except this one.

There always seems to be one, doesn't there? Everywhere, no matter where you go- church, school, the hospital, the library- any organization has its one person whose function seems to be to force you to exercise all your civility muscles. This one is particularly hard to figure out- just about the time I am ready to bind all my civility muscles tightly, throw them in the dungeon and release the beast who lives there, she does something amazingly sweet. My theory is she knows she is horrid and is working on it, and only realizes she's been horrid when that look flashes across the other person's face. The HG's theory is she is painfully shy, incredibly askward with people, and went into NICU nursing because babies don't talk back. She forgot there were parents involved, and it's a great frustration to her when they speak up and act like they have something to do with the little mite in the crib. Anyway.

Meanwhile, The HM is taking me back to the apartment to pick up their vehicle and deliver additional clothes and food. I tried cooking from scratch last week, and since we didn't get home until 9:30 or later at night, it just wasn't a great success. I picked up boxed rice mixes, flash frozen boneless chicken thighs, crackers and peanut butter, and more things like snow peas and yogurt.

Toodles.

And don't stop praying.

Loreena McKinnet Sings Emmanuel

Update from the HG

The Little Striderling had the official swallow study/feed test done, and he is aspirating *anytime* he self feeds. So he'll be getting his entire feedings through g-tube (stomach) for at least a couple months. Disappointing, yes. It's hard to be in one of those incredibly rare cases where nursing is not an option. It's good to know exactly what he needs feeding-wise though... one step closer to being home!

Update from me:

Yesterday also the hospital came through in a good way on the breastfeeding front- although it did take a little bit of prodding to get the momentum going.
They offer a pump to rent, although the contact information given on that offer is incorrect, as is the phone number posted in the pumping rooms.
I went to the front desk at the NICU and asked who I should talk to, since all contact information we'd been given is incorrect. The gal there called one number, and then essentially shrugged and said that lady was gone for the day. Then she looked helplessly at me as though that were the end of the matter. I smiled in what was probably a Professor Umbridge fashion and said, "Well, we need to figure something else out then, because we cannot go through the weekend without the pump."
She remembered there are two lactation consultants at the hospital, called the other one of them and delivered the message. That gal was up at some point in the next 90 minutes- not sure when, because the gal behind the desk did not deliver the rest of the message- that I had the credit card for the deposit and would be in the NICU waiting room, nor did she pass on the phone number she was given for contact information. Happily, the consultant left the paperwork and pump at the baby's bedside, so Mama now has the same pump used at the hospital for home-use.

The hospital is moving to a private room NICU in the next couple of years, and that will alleviate the vast majority of the problems that currently sabotage breast-feeding.

Every minute away from the baby is a heart-break and a stress inducer, both things that hinder milk supply, and rooming in would go a long way toward fixing that.

Thrift Shop

Going, this time, not coming:

Traci and LIsa Sing O Come, O Come Emmanuel- acapella

Breastfeeding and the NICU

Hospitals are in the business of saving lives, and amazing things happen in them.

At the same time, Hospitals are exhausting, draining, life sucking places.

How This Hospital Supports Breastfeeding:

Free meals for mothers who pump, delivered to the NICU family waiting room within 45 minutes of ordering, last order possible at 7:00 PM

pumps and pumping rooms provided- excellent pumps, too.

Informative brochures and paperwork on how breast is best.

breastfeeding support group meetings weekly, and a couple monthly

A handy bag to hold bottles and pumping supplies, with a nifty water bottle included.

A nurse practitioner who is very sympathetic about breastfeeding, very supportive, and who is encouraging to Moms who pump. (Notice I said A nurse practitioner? NOT "Wonderfully supportive nurses and other staff?")

How This hospital Undermines Breastfeeding:

Forgetting to mention the free meals until day three

Handing out the information on how breast is best and where the pumping rooms are, and giving out the nifty bag for holding bottles, etc, on day four of baby's stay instead of day one

Making the timing of delivery and ordering for those meals counterproductive with baby time

Not enough pumping rooms, or dingy, claustrophobic inducing rooms that used to be broom closets. Seriously- there are 89 NICU beds and three pumping rooms, although there is a fourth three floors down, in another wing, and which you have to ask somebody for a key when you want to use it. And that 'somebody' leaves the desk at 5:00. One of the three pumping rooms on the NICU floor...

Using one of the VERY limited number of pumping rooms double as a staff meeting room and banging on the door when a mom is inside pumping, telling her "Are you done yet? We need this room for a staff meeting." No, I am not kidding.

Making you pump where you cannot see, hear or touch your baby

Scheduling back to back tests (even when they are not needed back to back- the baby can wait for those tests, and wait safely), so that there can be hours and hours in a day when mom cannot see baby at all- and NOT notifying her ahead of time about when those tests will be scheduled.


Sending various people to talk to mom at all hours of the day, interrupting Baby and/or Pumping Time, not to mention Mom's own feeding time- including things like making Mom leave the baby to go three floors down to deliver insurance information at the front desk, information that the NICU has in their own folder and should be able to fax downstairs themselves. But nope.

Making skin to skin contact highly difficult in so many ways. Nurses who are grumpy about it. Providing no privacy for it, the screen is inadequate for protecting Mom from intrusive glances on all sides- and even though we trust the people here not to be intrusive, it just is an awkward and exposed feeling, and stress shuts down mom's milk supply. Nurses who are cranky about getting out the screen, or who make a post partum mom go get it herself even when they are not doing a thing.

Making it impossible for mom to pump and hold baby at the same time, or even pump while looking at her baby, which is the best way of keeping milk production up.

Not allowing parents to sleep in the NICU

Kicking parents out of the NICU when new babies are admitted.

Posting signs telling parents they cannot have drinks in the NICU- nursing moms need copious amounts of water, and you should never have to make a choice between drinking water and seeing your baby. Solution, btw: ask the nicest nurse for permission, and then ignore the signs.

Handing out a snazzy folder of information on breastfeeding that contains incorrect contact information on who to contact to rent a pump or get more information or support on breastfeeding.-

When baby is fed from a tube, he's supposed to be given a pacifier to suck on so he associates getting his tummy filled with doing the right things with his mouth. This is SO vitally important- not just for possibly making it possible for him to breastfeed later, but also to prevent sensory issues with food and eating by mouth later. It's a huge, big, important deal. Really. I have not observed the nurses making this a priority. At. All. I know it's not their area of expertise, but it's important for this baby, and they should consider this part of his feeding, just as much as they would consider holding a baby while giving him a bottle part of that baby's feeding.


The HG's milk supply was going up every day at the previous hospital. It has gone steadily downhill since the Striderling arrived here, and she is very discouraged about that.

This hospital has a notorious reputation for sabotaging breastfeeding, and you can see why. They just don't understand it well enough to make it a priority. They don't even understand it well enough to understand HOW they are sabotaging breastfeeding.