"I Hate You, Mommy!"

The oldest of our seven offspring is 22. I have heard those words in the title- from our sixth child when she was 3 and from that firstborn child- when she was six.

We have weathered two children through the teen years, and have three still in their teens, and none of them has said anything close to it (Okay, Equuschick probably thinks it, but she never says it).

Luck? That's what many people tell us, but I am doubtful.

When my firstborn child said it the first time, it was a knife in my heart. Then, a day or two later, she said it again and I realized that she didn't really mean it, she was only angry and had seen how effective that comment was (and it was the wickedest thing she could think of to say at a time when she felt particularly like saying something wicked and cutting). It seemed to me that this must not be permitted to burgeon into emotional manipulation. I told her that I didn't have to cook dinner for people who didn't love me (somehow, parenting can bring out the truly juvenile in one). She indignantly said I'd better fix her dinner, or she wouldn't grow. I shrugged and said I guessed she'd better love me then. She said I had to fix her dinner anyway, or God wouldn't like it. I conceded the truth of that point, but then said I didn't have to feed her stuff she liked, maybe I'd make liver. Every night.

We kissed and made up=)