Four Moms; Keeping your Patience in the Midst of the Storm

An alternative title for this blog post could be:

In Which the Deputy Headmistress and Zookeeper ponders the deep question, 'how can one keep something one never had in the first place?'

When the kids were younger and I could make them go everywhere with me, we got a lot of comments- it wasn't just that there were seven of them, it's also how stair-stepped they are- 20 months between the first two, 17 months between four and five- and at one time there were three in diapers because of the Cherub's special needs. 

Two comments that made my darling Progeny snigger were:

"Ohhhhh, you must be so patient to have so many children."

And

"Ohhhh, you must be so organized!"

I'm not.  Which you gather from the fact that these comments made the Progeny snigger.Rather than keeping my patience in the midst of the storm, more often than not, I am the storm.

I'm not proud of this, but I'm not going to lie to you about it, either.  After all, the Progeny, most of them, do read this blog from time to time and they'd notice. 

At our house five minutes after we should have already left the driveway, you know who's running around like a wild thing, hair unbrushed, barefoot, and still trying to button her blouse straight while shouting, "Has anybody seen my PURSE?"  I can't find my SHOES!!!  Would SOMEBODY PLEASE find my Cell PHONE?  Why isn't my Kindle EVER where it BELONGS? !!!"

Well, I'm not going to tell you who.  You'll just have to surmise, that's all.


If I were the sort of person who had enough patience to keep it in the midst of a storm or even a light sprinkle, these are the sorts of things that would probably have helped me become that kind of a grown-up (these aren't in any particular order):

Maintain a Sense of Humour- this is such a saving grace.  The Equuschick has it in spades. Several years ago the family was traveling across country in two cars, not even going on the same roads. The van with the majority of the family in it was in a bad accident, and the HM was airlifted out to another town for multiple surgeries (he now has a metal plate in his arm), leaving the children (most of them minors) at the hospital alone while the police tried to find me and get me reunited with my kids.  It was most of the day before I could rejoin them, the head of the hospital put our family up in his home for the night, and as the Equuschick and I finally collapsed into the bed we were sharing that night, she said, "Just so you know, I did make sure we all had on clean underwear." 
We collapsed into helpless laughter, biting our pillows to keep from waking the entire household with our howls of laughter.  It was just what we needed.

Prayer- When the little Striderling was born, grey, lifeless in appearance,mute, still- while his midwives worked over him with calm, measured speed and grace I dropped to my knees and prayed, oh, how I prayed. Striderling's other Grandmama joined me immediately, we clutched hands and prayed through that storm of desperate agony in a too quiet room.  Striderling whimpered- but we continued to pray, as did thousands of others around the world for the next several months. We are still meeting people who tell us they are praying for this small miracle boy. But you know what?  Everybody prays in situations like these (and we don't always get the hoped for answer we have seen with the Striderling, do we?).
I have also dropped to my knees to pray (though with slightly less intensity) for lost library books, sick goats and kittens, a hostile child, a leaking roof (leaking is a bit of a euphemism- I think we had more water than out of the house), and things as mundane as missing car keys.

Self-medicate with chocolate- I hope I do not have to explain this.

Go ahead and cry- and then laugh at yourself. Even if 27 guests drop in while you are trying to sell the house and your septic system backs up and you are washing dishes in a dish tub and dumping the water outside and taking sponge baths for a week and using a camping toilet- with six kids while your husband is doing some military training program that involves long hours of hard study at Starbucks.

Reduce your caffeine intake- except for chocolate.

Eat right and take your vitamins.

Get enough sleep.

Spend enough time in prayer, Bible reading, and contemplation of the marvelous grace of God that you have the proper perspective on all these things.  Patience is one of the eight or so virtues called a 'fruit of the spirit.'  Guess how you gain that fruit?  It's not by working on becoming more patient.

Have a sense of perspective- usually, it could be worse.

Practice gratitude- be grateful for what you have.

What about you?  How do you keep your patience in the midst of the storm?











Click through to gain the wisdom, or at least commiseration, from the other moms in the Four Moms, 35 kids club:

Connie, Smockity Frocks

Kim, Life In a Shoe

 

Kimberly, Raising Olives