Are You Journalist Enough?: How The Media Fails All Parents

There's been quite a stir on the blogosphere about Time's cover story on Attachment Parenting. The cover image is controversial (and I wouldn't recommend looking at it if you think breastfeeding shouldn't be sexualized, which ought to be everybody, but apparently isn't), and the title is even worse ~ "Are You Mom Enough?: Why Attachment Parenting Drives Some Mothers To Extremes - and how Dr. Bill Sears Became Their Guru." Without even delving into the article, there are several things about this cover art and title that should make all ranges of the parenting spectrum cringe.

How so? For starters, it is only extreme in American culture to nurse into toddlerhood. In many, many cultures, it is the norm. Aren't we supposed to be all about multi-culturalism and embracing different viewpoints? And for Christians, no one country's culture should be the measure, Christian culture should be.

True culture demands that we not be judgmental in matters of preference. Nursing into toddlerhood, and many other similar parenting choices, are preferences. "Are You Mom Enough?" is a combative, harsh, and judgmental title implying that anyone who doesn't nurse their children into toddlerhood is a "lesser" mom. Pardon my English, but it just ain't so.

Of course, preferences can be (indeed, should be!) formed by our own experiences and research. As a "crunchy" mama, there are definitely reasons why I make many of the parenting choices I do.  I didn't make them on a whim and I think there are good reasons behind what I do; reasons I am always happy to discuss with others. But never do I want to be someone who comes at the world with a "My Way Or The Highway" attitude, and this article fosters the idea that natural leaning mothers think that way, when almost none of us do.

Actually, it fosters divisive attitudes from both sides of the issue, which saddens and frustrates me even more. I know there are many people out there who think extended nursing is dysfunctional and bizarre, or that by co-sleeping with my children I am wrecking their future independence, and cover art like this only reinforces the unfair negative stereotypes that exist on this issue.

Another popular stereotype is that weird crunchies must have a guru... in this case, Dr. Bill Sears. Uhm. Not so much. I appreciate many things he's said (his vaccine book is helpful and I've heard many recommendations for his book on birth), but I also don't agree with him on everything.  In fact, many "AP" moms I know were making their counter (American) cultural parenting choices long before they'd heard of him. Sure, give a man credit where it's due, but Dr. Sears is no guru. A guru implies extremes.... and, again, we're back to the fact that what AP mothers do has been *normal* for many world cultures over the last several thousand years. That doesn't mean all modern ways are wrong, just that we must stop calling things that are different from modern America "extreme."

Sad, isn't it? For an age of tolerance, we sure spend an awful lot of time calling choices different than ours "extreme."